a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
