Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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