Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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