Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my poor anus
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
