flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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