I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
