i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
