so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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