Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
