Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You were trust falling into bushes
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
