The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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