Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
