My brain says no but my pants say off.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
