They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
