I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
