Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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