so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
