Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
