I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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