what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
