YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
