Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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