dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
