woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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