I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
