Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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