I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
