I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
