Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
What a dumb baby whore.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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