ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
