Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
