went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
