dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
