didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
