so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
