he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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