so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
