peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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