everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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