I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
