I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
