Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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