I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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