Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
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Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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