Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
