but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
