Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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