Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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