i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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