i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
