And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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