Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
After last night, I could never be a politician.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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