I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
